Recap of July Goals

The month of July was a whirlwind! For the most part, it was a really fun month. I had a blast celebrating my birthday with friends and getting away for a night to Leavenworth with Bill. There were also some really difficult times as a family member struggled with some health issues – happily, they are now on the mend and I’m far less concerned than I was a few weeks ago.

I was extremely proud of myself for completing the 9-Week Control Freak workout program with complete consistency. I never missed a workout and I can definitely tell that I’ve leaned out a bit and put on some muscle. Today I started a new round of LIIFT4 which is one of my favorite Beachbody on Demand programs. It’s focused on strength training, and it’s only four days a week which is awesome (9WCF was five days a week) for eight weeks.

Here’s the recap of how I did with my goals for July:

Begin the Calorie Cycling Challenge successfully. Although this challenge isn’t officially over until August 4th, I finished July with an 81% consistency rate for following the calorie cycling methodology I’ve set for myself. What that means is that on six of the thirty-one days of July, my calories exceeded my goal for the day, whether it was a “low” or a “high” day. 81% consistency is really good! Unfortunately it didn’t translate into much in the way of weight loss, but if I’m being honest with myself I also didn’t count calories as thoroughly as I could have and there’s definitely a possibility that I underestimated calorie values in some of the things I ate and drank. For August I’ve pulled out the food scale and I’m working on actually measuring things so that I can track more accurately. My overall average calories per day for the month of July came in at 1,563.

Walk an average of 10,000 steps per day. I got so close to this goal in July! My final monthly average steps per day came in at 9,799.

Log my weight daily in LoseIt. I did log my weight daily, but halfway through the month I switched from tracking weight in LoseIt to tracking in the Inner Circle app that Jordan Syatt created. I like the graph and the trendline presentation on the IC platform better than LoseIt’s, although I still love LoseIt for tracking food.

Review my LoseIt logs from 2012-2013. I looked back on these logs, and what I learned is that back then I was basically calorie cycling but didn’t realize what exactly I was doing. I remember that back then I had a daily goal of eating 1,200 calories, so that’s what I would aim for, but I didn’t get too bothered if I went over by a little bit on weekends or on days when I worked out hard. It showed me that what I’m doing now is really the same as what I did to lose the weight before, so I’m hopeful that it’s going to work again!

9-Week Control Freak: Day 1

Today is the day that everyone in my Beachbody group has been eagerly awaiting: the new 9-Week Control Freak program is now available in the On Demand library!

9-Week Control freak is the latest program from trainer Autumn Calabrese. When I first joined Beachbody On Demand, Autumn’s 21-Day Fix was the program that I followed and I really liked it, so I’ve been excited to try the latest workouts she created. 9WCF is a 9-week at-home workout program, with each workout lasting around half an hour. I love getting my workout over in 30 minutes, and Autumn is great at kicking my ass quickly!

There are two versions of the program so that anyone who works out at home can follow it. The first one includes equipment like door- or wall-mounted resistance bands, a core ball, and a step, but the second one is a dumbbell-only option called Off the Wall. Bill and I are following the second one, because we work out in our living room and we just don’t have room for all of the other equipment that the first version requires (especially the control tracks with the resistance bands – that is, unless Beachbody can figure out how to come out with a set that attaches to the back of my sectional couch). The only thing that some people may not like about Off the Wall is that not every single workout is unique; it offers five workouts for each of the three phases that can be cycled through to complete the nine weeks.

Of course, Beachbody is a business, and they want to sell their products, so there are lots of supplements and nutrition containers and all kinds of other stuff that they encourage using while doing the program. I’m a calorie counter for life and I don’t have any desire to change that, so I’m opting to stick with my LoseIt app for tracking my food. I do drink Shakeology every day because I like it, but I absolutely don’t believe that doing so is vital to success with this or any workout program.

Bill and I did the first workout this morning, and I really enjoyed it. The main workout consisted of completing a circuit of five different moves, twelve reps each, as many times as we could in twelve minutes. After that was the Tabata Cardio portion. Neither of us knew what the heck Tabata was, but we now have learned that it’s a form of high-intensity interval training that forces you to work at a very high intensity for short periods of time. For the first workout we did eight rounds of mountain climbers, working for ten seconds and then resting for twenty seconds before going into the next round. I liked that because I typically do not enjoy cardio and really have to push myself mentally. Knowing that I only had to do it for ten seconds at a time helped me to work harder and faster during that time.

I’m excited to be doing this new program and am eager to see what benefits I get from switching it up!

My Goals for May

I’m still on a high from my success in April, and I’m hoping it’ll stay that way so that I can have a great May! This month will be a lot different than any month in over a year, because my fully-vaccinated self is getting on a plane and flying to California to visit family. Adding travel back into my plans is a VERY welcome change, but it’ll also be an opportunity for me to see how I handle my newfound healthy lifestyle once I’m not home all day.

With that in mind, I tried to formulate goals for May that would help me be successful but still allow me to have some flexibility – I don’t want to slide back into old habits, but I don’t want to be super rigid either!

Stay under my allotted calories 70% of the time. I noted in my April goal recap that I stayed under my calorie count 63% of the days in April, so I want to increase that percentage for May. It works out to 22 days, which still gives me 9 days to go over. While I’m not making it an official part of my goal, I’m also going to play around with calorie cycling, lowering my allotted calories slightly so that on the days I’m sticking to that number that my intake of food will be a little bit reduced. I think this will help offset the days I go over.

Average 9,500 steps per day. This is slightly under my average steps for April, so it isn’t requiring me to increase my activity but to maintain my current level. May can bring some really nice weather to the Seattle area, but it can also bring some soggy rainy days that make a long walk unappealing.

Complete the Fit Happens May Beachbody Challenge. The coaches in my Beachbody group have been busily cooking up a fresh batch of challenges for May. The first part of the May challenge is to share a photo of one healthy meal per day. I love this because it will help me stay on-track with nutrition, and I decided that none of my Shakeology shakes will count for this so I have to share a breakfast or a dinner. The other challenge is a plank challenge! I’m really excited about this one because by the end of the month, the challenge has us holding a plank for three minutes, much longer than I’ve ever done before! Here’s a copy of the plank challenge in case anyone wants to join in on the fun:

Write a blog post once a week. I want to challenge myself to use my creative side more and start writing again, and more than just lists of my goals! I do have more going on in my life than just trying to lose weight and be healthier, and I’d like to share more of myself in May.

Recapping my April Goals

Hooray, FINALLY a month where this post isn’t super depressing! I crushed my April goals and I am so, so proud. I also lost 2.5 pounds, which isn’t a lot but I feel like it’s indicative of progress achieved with small and sustainable changes – and if I lose that much every month for the rest of the year, I’ll be down 22.5 pounds, which would be amazing.

Without further ado, here are my reflections on my April goal performance.

Stay under my allotted calories four days a week. I am so happy that I finally achieved a nutrition goal! Not only did I achieve this, but I actually stayed under my calorie count a couple of additional days in April, for a total of 19 days out of 30 or 63% of the month. Having three days a week that I could splurge really helped keep me on track the rest of the week. I think I would have seen better results if I hadn’t tended to go pretty far over my calorie count on the days I allowed myself to exceed my allotment, so I’m mulling over how to address that in my May goals.

Strength-train four days a week. I was back on my workout schedule in April and I easily achieved this, even with the hurdle of not feeling great after my second COVID vaccine last weekend (more on that experience later). Bill and I started a new round of LIIFT4 this week, so I have my workouts planned out for the next seven weeks. After that, there’s a new workout program I want to try, so lots of good stuff to look forward to as we move into summer!

Average 8,000 steps per day. I’m writing this on Friday afternoon so I don’t have my final step count for today, but as of right now my overall average steps for April was 9,655 per day. I’m sure the additional cardio contributed to my weight loss in April, and I’ve loved getting outside every day and taking long walks.

Complete the Fit Happens 30-Day Beachbody Challenge. My online Beachbody group had two challenges running in April – a daily workout/movement log with a photo, and a daily Shakeology log with a photo. I am beyond proud to say that I didn’t miss a single day (there were a couple of days when I wasn’t feeling well and just did some stretching workouts, but movement is movement!). But my favorite part of this goal was that it helped me be accountable to someone other than myself and it gave me a new motivation to make healthy habits – I didn’t want to look like a slacker!

Serve at least one dinner per week that has fish as the protein. This turned out to be a really fun goal, because I discovered that I enjoy preparing fish! Bill’s overwhelming favorite was my pan-seared Halibut, which has become a part of our weekly dinners.

Motivation Monday: Progress Feels Great

(Note: I haven’t done a post in my Motivation Monday series for literally years, but I thought I’d try bringing it back this month to help me stay on track with my goals.)

We’re five days into April, and already I’m seeing the benefits of my 30-Day challenge and feeling more confident in my ability to meet the monthly goals I set for myself. I still had some slips in nutrition over the weekend, but I did notice myself being a little more mindful of what I was indulging in. I had my Shakeology shakes as my lunches all weekend, and on Saturday not only did Bill and I do a Pilates workout together, but I also walked over six and a half miles with friends of mine! I wouldn’t have done that before, and we had such a good time that I’m hoping I can convince them to do it with me again. And last night I made a nice sockeye salmon with some green beans for dinner, which was tasty and in line with my goal to prepare more fish for dinner.

This morning Bill’s foot was bothering him, and normally I would have taken that as an excuse to skip working out. But then I thought about my Fit Happens challenge and I wanted to log a full workout and not just a walk for today, so instead of opting out of exercising altogether I suggested an upper body workout that wouldn’t strain his foot. We did it and I am so happy!

I feel like my mindset is starting to shift, and I suspect that one of the things that’s helping is that I’m accountable to the others in my 30-Day Challenge. If I’m not logging my workouts and shakes, they’re going to wonder where I am, and besides that I really want to complete this challenge successfully for myself! This reminds me of when I first started going to Zumba classes all those years ago. Before it became a passion of mine, I relied on friends in the class to check in with me and keep me accountable for going, and they never let me down. And once I became hard-core-obsessed with Zumba and was loathe to ever miss a night, I was able to help more new people be accountable for going too.

Right now I feel great about myself and my progress. I can only imagine how good I’ll feel by the end of April if I keep this up!

My Goals for April

It’s a new month and I feel VERY hopeful that I can make some progress in achieving my weight loss goals in the next thirty days. The weather is getting better which means more outside time, and I joined a 30-Day Beachbody Challenge with my coach and a group of other friends she’s connected with to help keep me motivated. I’m also starting a twelve-week group therapy class to help with some of the stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling lately, and I’m really hoping that reducing stress will give me a lot better quality of life overall.

So with that, here are my goals for April!

Stay under my allotted calories four days a week. I haven’t been doing a great job with my nutrition and I think that part of my failure is that I was just being too aggressive with my goals starting out. For this month, I’m just going to try and stay under my calorie goal four days per week. Since April begins on a Thursday this year, I’ll just count my weeks as Thursday-Wednesday.

Strength-train four days per week. I still really like this goal and I’m making it again because I want to have additional motivation to keep going with my workouts. Bill and I just started a new program on Beachbody on Demand called T25, and so far I’m enjoying it. It’s fast-paced and a lot different than workouts we’ve been doing lately, and I’m happy we’re changing it up. Plus, as the name suggests, the workouts are only 25 minutes long, and I like a short workout even if it’s intense!

Average 8,000 steps per day. Because the weather is getting nicer and because I did so well with my steps for March, I’ve increased my goal by 500 steps/day from last month’s goal. I really believe I can do this, especially since a friend of mine recently said she’d like to start getting together and going for walks. Spending time with a person I love is definitely motivation!

Complete the Fit Happens 30-Day Beachbody Challenge. There will be two challenges running simultaneously in my online fit group this month – a daily workout/movement log with a photo, and a daily Shakeology log with a photo. For fitness I’ll have my strength training four days a week, and my plan is to add in long walks and active recovery workouts on teh other days. During the week I use Shakeology as a meal replacement for lunch, so this will encourage me to plan it as a part of my day on weekends too. I have zero excuses not to – I work from home, I’m completely in control of my nutrition, and I have the support system of the others in my group.

Serve at least one dinner per week that has fish as the protein. Fish has a ton of health benefits and I know it should be more present in my diet than it currently is, so I’m going to make a point to add it into our rotation in April. I actually really like fish, but in the past was intimidated at the thought of cooking it. Since discovering over the last couple of years that I actually really enjoy trying new recipes, I’m less nervous, and I want to try my hand at preparing tasty fish dishes.

Monthly Goals for March

I woke up this morning sort of in shock that it’s already March. In addition to feeling like this year is absolutely racing by, realizing it’s March also means it’s been a year now since COVID-19 completely changed our lives. My last day working in an office was March 5th; now I don’t even have a desk in that office anymore and my company is in the process of moving out of that building and I likely won’t have a new location assigned until the end of the year.

February was largely a throw-away month for me with regard to my goals. I didn’t make any progress at all with losing weight, and my eating habits were far more indulgent than I’d allowed myself to be in January. It made me see that I really do need a monthly goal for my calorie intake; when I set a goal to stay under my allotted calories in January, I did much better than I did without any sort of goal like that in February. I’m in this weird place mentally where I really do want to lose weight and eat healthier, but I have a hard time making myself follow through with any sort of lasting change. During the week I have a pretty easy time following my healthy eating plan and doing my workouts, but once Friday night hits I lose my damn mind and don’t seem to recover myself until Monday morning (and a wave of regret) hits. I have to figure out how to be healthier on weekends or I’m never going to break this cycle.

With all that in mind, I’ve designed goals for March to hopefully support the habits I’ve formed that I’m proud of, while putting me in a position to (hopefully) finally start losing some weight.

Continue strength training four times a week. Last week, Bill and I finished the eight-week LIIFT4 program that we began at the start of 2021. I definitely feel stronger and proud of my progress, but I don’t want to let this good habit fall away now that we’ve finished the program. This morning, we started a new workout program on Beachbody on Demand called The Prep. Unlike LIIFT4, which is a four-day-per-week program, The Prep is designed to be six days a week – but since I don’t really want to have to commit to doing six days a week of workouts, our plan is to just modify it and do four of the workouts per week. It’ll take us longer to complete, but that’s okay, and I’ve talked to other people who have modified programs similarly and still gotten great results. The first workout this morning was killer, which is probably a sign that switching it up was a good idea.

Stay under my allotted calories six days per week. This goal worked well for me in January so I’m bringing it back. Currently my goal is to stay under 1,600 calories a day, knowing that if I can keep myself a little below that goal every day during the week that it’ll help offset having more food on weekends.

Average 7,500 steps per day. I didn’t do a step goal in February, mostly because the weather was wet, cold, and at times snowy, and it was hard to get outside. I’m not exactly a fair-weather walker but trudging through slippery ice and snow is not my idea of a fun time. Now that it’s nearly spring, I’m hoping that the weather will be a bit milder and it’ll be possible to get out and walk more.

Cook dinner at least one weekend night and eat that meal at the table. Growing up, my family always had dinner together, sitting at the dining room table. This did not carry into my adult life, and most nights Bill and I eat on the couch while we watch tv. We enjoy our ritual of watching different shows together, so I don’t want to stop doing it, but my intent with this goal is to not only make sure that we limit our takeout a bit on weekends but also that we eat more mindfully on at least one weekend night.

Pick one non-eating-related activity per weekend to do with Bill. Whether we go for a walk, a bike ride, a hike, a drive, or do an additional workout, I want to focus on non-food entertainment on weekends. When the weather’s nice, we like to walk into downtown Edmonds and wander along the waterfront. Whatever we decide to do, I want to incorporate this into our lives so that nice meals aren’t our only way to relax and connect with each other after a long week of work.

Monthly Goals for February

I don’t usually write two posts on the same day but I wanted to blog my goals for February after recapping how things went in January. While everything didn’t go exactly the way I’d planned, I did learn from my missteps and I have some ideas for adjusting February goals to address the issues I had last month.

Weigh and measure portions. I tracked everything I ate in January, and according to my LoseIt app I only exceeded my calorie goals on six days throughout the month. However, if that were true I would have lost weight in January, which I did not. The most likely reason for this is that I under-tracked the calories I ate. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before today that I needed to weigh out my meals, but now that it has it feels really obvious to me. I might be able to eventually measure out around four ounces of chicken fairly accurately by sight, but I’m willing to bet I’m not doing it right now. I’m prepared for the side effect of this goal being that I’m probably going to be hungrier than normal in February while I adjust to what I suspect will be smaller portions than I’m used to.

Plan snacks for the day in the morning and stick to the plan. I have my weekday breakfasts, lunches, and snacks pre-planned, but I noticed in January that I always crave additional snacks in the afternoons. I think it must be related to the stress of my workdays, because it doesn’t happen on weekends. My go-to weekday snacks are apple slices in the morning and Greek yogurt mid-afternoon, so in February I am going to focus on tracking my snacks in my LoseIt app first things in the morning and then only eating what I had committed to having for snacks.

Finish Season 16 of Grey’s Anatomy. I feel like I need a “fun” goal, so that’s why I’m adding this one. I was an avid Grey’s fan until 2014, when I didn’t have cable service and couldn’t watch the new episodes. I fell way behind on the show, but in 2020 I decided to start it from the beginning and watch all the way through (the show is currently airing Season 17). Bill doesn’t like medical dramas and won’t watch it with me, so I watch an episode or two while I take baths or when he works later than I do, and I’m about halfway through Season 16 now. I want to finish it and start on the current season!

Address my increasing anxiety. Fun fact: being stressed out can make it harder to lose weight. Stress increases cortisol levels, which in turn can cause weight gain. Human bodies haven’t evolved as fast as our environment has, so our bodies largely attribute stress with lack of access to adequate food supply – because that’s what originally stressed people out. High stress levels can bring on fun things like fatigue, increased appetite, thinning skin, difficulty concentrating, and irritability.

I know I have anxiety and I also know that my stress levels have been through the roof lately. I think my problems are a combination of having lived mid-pandemic for nearly a year now and the fact that I’m an empath and other people’s feelings and emotions have a big impact on me.

I know that I can’t meet my weight loss goals OR be happy until I address my anxiety. I have a number of coping mechanisms I’ve been taught over the years to deal with stress and anxiety, and I’ve also reached out to my health insurance provider for a referral to help with mental health.

January Goal Check-In

That felt like the fastest January I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Normally, the first month of the year feels like it drags on for an eternity, but not in 2021! Even though I feel like we were just raising a glass while we counted down to the new year, January is already over and it’s time to make some February Goals. Before I get into my new monthly goals, I thought I’d write a quick check-in on how January went.

Stick to my calorie count goal six days a week. I counted the days that I ate over my calorie goal, and in January there were six days in total – two more days than I’d hoped for, but still better than I’d been doing for the last few months of 2020. I’ve heard about the 80/20 rule (stick to your calorie goal 80% of the time), and I did accomplish that.

What I noticed though, is that even though I tracked everything I ate and believed that I was doing a better job with my eating, I didn’t lose weight in January. I did drop a couple of pounds early on, but those came back by the end of the month so ultimately the changes I made only helped me maintain my current weight. I’m pretty sure that I’m underestimating what I’m eating and tracking fewer calories than I’m actually eating; albeit unintentionally. This is something to address for February.

Weigh myself every day. I achieved this one on 30 out of 31 days (we stayed in a hotel one night and I wasn’t committed enough to this goal to pack my scale along). It was good to have the data, and it definitely showed me that I need to review what I’m doing and make some changes if I want to see weight loss.

Drink more water. I did really well on this one overall. Since I didn’t set a tangible metric I wasn’t measuring ounces or anything like that, but I definitely got into the habit of filling up my Hydro Flask for the day and drinking more water.

No alcohol. Dry January had….a few showers. We gave in to the urge and had drinks with dinner on four nights last month. But that was a huge improvement for us!

Average 7,500 steps/day each week. I didn’t quite make it with this one. Overall for the month of January I averaged 6,307 steps per day, which was quite a bit short of my goal. The biggest reason I didn’t make it was the record rainfall in Washington last month; there were multiple days where it was absolutely pouring outside and it was just too gross outside for walking. I’m hoping that as we move into spring that I’ll be able to get out more. I miss my walks!

I don’t really know how to feel about January. Going in, I thought I had set realistic goals that I could easily meet and that would guarantee me weight loss, but obviously that turned out not to be true. Some changes I’m pleased with, others not so much, and I’m going to take those feelings into account for my February goals. I’m using this as data to adjust my goals and habits and not beating myself up over not achieving everything I’d planned, because one of my 2021 Resolutions was to be nicer to myself. I’m still on track for all of my resolutions, so that’s a very good thing!

Where I’m at with Health and Fitness (and Where I Want to Be)

This year I have a renewed drive to set and achieve goals, which was probably apparent with my goals for January and for 2021. And in looking at those goals I think it’s obvious that I’m hoping to achieve weight loss and improved health this year.

I’ve learned so much about myself and what I want over the last ten years. When I went to my first Zumba class in October 2010, I started to learn that I didn’t want to just be thin, but fit. Zumba taught me that I can actually enjoy being active and pursuing athletic activities. Even though my beloved Zumba class isn’t there anymore, I’ve found other ways to stay active and healthy. I’ve always enjoyed going for walks outside, and when I began working from home and couldn’t go with my coworkers anymore Bill started going with me. It’s now one of my favorite parts of the day and I enjoy getting to take a break, get some fresh air, and spend time with him. I had found a new dance class at a local gym that I absolutely loved, but when the pandemic shut things down I started working out at home by following Beachbody workouts. Although it’s always tough for me to get up and get moving, I’ve grown to really enjoy those first-thing-in-the-morning workouts. As we move into spring, Bill and I have vowed to get back into cycling and spend more time on our bikes.

When I achieved my weight-loss goals in my late twenties, I didn’t follow any diet or plan. Instead, I channeled the things that I’d learned over the years about nutrition and put them into practice, combined with logging my food in the LoseIt app and practicing portion control. I never restricted any foods; everything was allowed in moderation. I wish I could say that I’d stuck to this practice, but after turning 30 I gained a little weight and as a knee-jerk reaction I went on a pretty restrictive diet. The weight came off….and then came on again, plus some. Instead of going back to what I knew worked, I went back on a diet again…and again. Nothing worked (which should not be shocking, because diets do not work if they’re not sustainable long-term). I did all the fad programs: Medifast, Weight Watchers, Dukan. All came with an initial rush of results followed by misery and me ultimately falling off the program because I’d get so tired of restricting. A few years ago I drew a line in the sand and vowed that I wasn’t going to go on another diet, EVER, and I meant it. I’m proud to say that I’ve kept that promise to myself and that I’ve stayed away from diets, even as friends embark on their Paleo or Keto or whatever-else journeys.

And that brings me to where I am now: anti-diet (but with some extra pounds I’m ready to bid farewell to) and proud at how consistently I exercise and move my body. As far as fitness level goes, I feel like I’m in a great place and I want to use this year to do some hikes, some long bike rides, and of course lots of lunchtime walks. As far as my eating habits go, I’m ready to push myself to do better so I can (hopefully!) finally shed the extra pounds my foray into dieting left me with.

The only thing that has ever worked for me long-term is calorie counting, so that’s what I’m planning on doing in 2021. I’ve been using Jordan Syatt’s calorie counter to get a baseline of how many calories I can eat every day and still be in a deficit, which happily is not 1,200 (do you guys remember when for some reason eating 1,200 calories a day was like the gold standard for losing weight?). For my weekday breakfasts, lunches, and snacks, I’ve largely just reverted to what I used to eat when I was at my goal weight, but now I eat egg whites with veggies for breakfast instead of an Eggo waffle with peanut butter smeared on it. While the Eggo was arguably far more delicious, I can concede that the egg whites and vegetables have a lot more nutritional value. My go-to snacks are apple slices mid-morning and a Greek yogurt mid-afternoon, and for lunch I just have a Shakeology shake made with almond milk.

I like to cook a lot more than I used to, and home-cooked meals are a big help when trying to lose weight because I actually know what the heck is in my food. Although I love takeout as much as the next girl and I will freely admit that I fantasize at least once a week about the day when I can finally dine inside of a restaurant without fear of catching the plague, it’s really hard to track calories in restaurant food since it’s next to impossible to know exactly how it was prepared. Because Bill and I place a grocery order for curbside pickup once a week now and don’t do our shopping in-person, I have no choice but to meal plan for the week ahead so that I know what food to buy. At times this can be a little annoying because I can’t think of a week when I actually got all the things I wanted in my grocery order, but overall it works pretty well. I’ve had a lot of people tell me they don’t like it when someone else picks out their produce, but my particular grocery store does a nice job overall of giving me fresh fruits and veggies and I only had an issue one time, when I wanted to make roasted tri-color potatoes as a side dish but instead of my little bag of tri-color potatoes I got a single red potato, which would have been fine as a substitute had it been, say, a half pound of red potatoes, instead of just a single little red potato. That was odd, but it’s only happened one time so I just chalk it up to an amusing little story about curbside grocery orders.

One of the things Jordan Syatt says regularly that gives me hope is “You can’t fuck this up”. I know I need to hear that when I’ve had a stressful week and dealt with said stress by baking a double-layer chocolate cake and eating a slab of that cake every night after dinner for five days in a row. But even with cake, as long as I don’t give up I haven’t failed, because I can’t fuck this up. Five days in a row of really healthy eating never yielded dramatic results so five days in a row of cake for dessert isn’t going to yield dramatic setbacks.

I know where I want to be, and I’m going to get there, because I can’t fuck this up.