When I was at Target today, I noticed that the Christmas decoration display was out in seasonal items. So you know what this means….Halloween is approaching!

Yes, it is October, and with it comes shorter days, pumpkin spice lattes (thank you, Starbucks), and yes, Halloween. It’s a time for ghosties, ghoulies, candy, and costumes.

And, apparently, costumes are now not just for people but for pets.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t get behind this whole let’s-dress-up-Fluffy-and-Fido craze. Americans will spend a predicted $310 million on pet costumes alone this Halloween. $310 million dollars? On  pet outfits??

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly wasteful?

Look, people, they’re pets. They’re automatically cute. Come on, they’re fuzzy, cuddly, they have huge eyes and huge ears and they just make us go “Squee!!” with their every adorable move. They don’t need to dress up as pumpkins or princesses or bikers or anything else. One costume I shook my head at was a frog costume designed for dogs. Your dog lives in the lap of luxury, lounging on soft soft beds, chasing squeaky toys, eating Science Diet. What on earth would make your dog think, hmmm, I want to be a frog? I want to sit on a lilypad and say ribbit ribbit ribbit? No, people, dogs do not want this. Nor does your average dog understand why or particularly enjoy your sticking him in some outfit, oohing and ahhing and oh-aren’t-you-cute-ing while you snap pictures to upload to Facebook.

So I walked through Target today, thinking about how if I tried to outfit my cats in Halloween costumes, I could then go as a self-mutilator with all the scratches I would suffer during the process. I couldn’t help feeling that pet Halloween costumes are one of the most ridiculous holiday items available.

And then I saw the Christmas decoration display. Up on a shelf was a tall, pink, light-up flamingo. Said flamingo was wearing a red light-up Christmas scarf and was just waiting to adorn someone’s front lawn.

And I knew then that dressing your dog up as Frogger is nothing compared to the Pink Flamingo Christmas Yard decorations.

Carry on, America. Spend your $310 million on pet costumes. Just someone please lend me fifty bucks for a flamingo.