A TV Possessed

Scene: My living room. I am on the couch, watching Keith Olbermann and, uh, working very hard on important projects (read: updating my Facebook status). Paul is in the kitchen, making dinner.

All of a sudden, Keith stops talking and silence fills the room. I glance up from the computer screen. In place of my beloved “Countdown” show is a Dish Network popup, asking me to rent “Zombieland” for $6.99. Since I have absolutely no techical expertise whatsoever, I do the only thing there really is to be done, and yell for Paul to fix it. He does, and I am back to my news and once again happy. I don’t know why “Zombieland” decided to interrupt my programming, but I chalk it up to a system glich and shrug it off.

That is, until the tv began rapidly changing channels.

By itself.

Paul is next to me now, and we’re munching homemade pizza and chasing “Countdown” with Rachel Maddow’s interview with a sheriff from Arizona. The show suddenly stops, and the tv scrolls methodically through the available channels.

I look at Paul. He looks back at me. I’m totally confused. “Is it broken?” I ask.

He doesn’t respond. I continue watching the tv freak out. “It’s possessed,” I finally diagnose. Damn zombies and their land. They must have had something to do with this. How, I wonder, does one go about killing a zombie? A stake through the heart? No, wait, that’s vampires. Throw water on them? Nah, that’s the Wicked Witch. Hmmm, how to kill a zombie? Perhaps….

“GET OFF THE REMOTE!” Paul exclaims.

While I was off in la la land, Paul has gotten up and discovered Oliver sitting on the tv stand, and it turns out, also on the tv remote. At Paul’s command he lazily jumps down, and the tv stops scrolling.

Well, it could have been zombies.

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